Raising Resilient Girls
Our spring term Speaker Series event welcomed parents to hear from a panel of pastoral experts, hosted by the journalist and alumna Jenny Kleeman.
Mrs Paul introduced the evening by sharing her views on the importance of resilience. “It’s an unsung form of heroism which deserves far more celebration than it typically receives. At South Hampstead, we foreground the notion that challenge is something to be embraced rather than avoided.”
Our panellists for the evening were consultant psychiatrist Dr Saadia Arshad who specialises in assessing and treating neurodevelopmental disorders; disability champion and alumna Zeinab Chaudary, a Board Trustee for Scope; PhD student Tanya Manchanda, whose research focuses on adolescent mental health and friendships; consultant clinical psychologist Dr Sophie Nesbitt, whose specialities include anxiety, eating disorders and adjustment difficulties; and founder of Tooled Up Education Dr Kathy Weston, one of the UK’s leading experts on parental engagement in children’s lives.
Deftly hosted by broadcaster Jenny Kleeman, a former South Hampstead pupil, the evening covered a range of topics – from adolescent brain development to the perils of perfectionism and social media – with our experts imparting numerous helpful tips in response to parental queries.
There was animated discussion around the best ways to support young people to be uncomfortable with uncertainty, with plenty of advice to avoid ‘over-parenting’. Our guest speakers instead highlighted the importance of keeping an open dialogue and modelling positive behaviours. A recurrent theme was the need to validate children’s emotions and, above all, to listen by being caring, patient and curious.
Be present but not too present… Parents need to be in coaching not fixing mode.
The panellists also explored the changing nature of friendships in the digital era and the importance of building adolescents’ self-worth. Many posited why comparison can be the thief of joy and suggested how parents can normalise mistake-making and model self-acceptance – a message that was particularly highlighted to those with neurodivergent children.
Other key takeaways for parents included a reminder that adolescent brains continue to change up to the age of 25. “Being a teenager is really hard – be mindful that they just don’t think like you… It’s also important to recognise that your child is already resilient; encourage them to reflect on their own achievements – however small – and realise how they have made progress.”
Senior Deputy Head (Pastoral), Ms Brass, thanked the community for joining the event, reminding parents to help their daughters build their resilience muscle by being reassuringly close but fostering a healthy distance. Additional resources, as recommended by our experts, were shared with our parents as a follow up, while Ms Brass’ latest Pastoral Spotlight blog post outlines how we help to instill resilience at South Hampstead.
This Speaker Series event was organised in partnership with Tooled Up Education; all South Hampstead families have free access to the platform’s evidence-based articles, videos, tips and worksheets which support all aspects of parenting, education and family life – one of the many ways we work together to give our girls the best possible start in life. Thank you to the Friends of South Hampstead (FOSH) for their support of this event as well as helping to fund school-wide access to the Tooled Up platform.